Managing Conflict

ARTICLES:

Dealing with Conflict

Managing Conflict Skills

Thomas Kilmann

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What is Conflict?

The Concise Oxford Dictionary describes conflict thus:

• Conflict - Noun. Fight, struggle, discrepant (with); collision; clashing; (of opposed principles etc.)); (Psych.) (distress due to) opposition of incompatible wishes etc. in a person.



• Conflict - Verb. Struggle (with); clash, be incompatible.

Thomas (1976) defined conflict as a process that begins when one of the parties to an interaction perceives that another has frustrated or is about to frustrate one of his or her needs or concerns. Ross (1982) commented that, if this is so, no wonder conflict is so pervasive. He also comments that conflict handling is among the most important social skills one can acquire. It is certainly a key managerial and leadership skill.

Conflict can be defined as any situation in which there is difference that is unresolved. Mutually exclusive goals and or values either exist or are perceived to exist by the parties involved. Conflict may involve situations in which two or more parties seek to impose their will on one another. It can be two parties in conflict over a single resource, value, vision, strategy etc. or it can be one group or individual in conflict over several alternatives. Sometimes there is only one way something can be done, to be chosen from the known alternatives, or sometimes a completely new solution must be invented.

Even more basically, Freud (Fischer 1970) described conflict as essentially our internal, psychological struggle between the demands of our identity (what our instincts would urge us to do), our superego (what we "should do" in order to be perfect) and our conscious self or ego which tries to mediate between the two, considering thoughtfully what, in its best judgment, the situation calls for. He stated that conflict between these parts of us over what action we should take causes anxiety in us and this anxiety "demands" resolution of the conflict by some means or other.

Freud further believed that peoples' ability to deal with external conflict is directly related to their ability to resolve their own internal conflicts. If this is so, a manager's awareness of his or her own internal anxiety level and what he or she does to cope with it (i.e. avoid, confront etc) could be invaluable in understanding reactions to workplace conflict and the ability to deal with it.

An unresolved conflict in the workplace, for example a simple disagreement between colleagues, may escalate into avoidance, an inability to work together, angry verbal exchanges, and resentment. In the worst cases it may also lead to one person or the other leaving the company. Therefore, it is important that the conflict be resolved as soon as possible.

It is important to separate out as much as possible the facts of the conflict being faced, emotional reactions (eg. anxiety) to the conflict and ways or style in coping with conflict. While interrelated it is essential to distinguish between these three and deal with each effectively.

The good news is that conflict can be resolved. Therefore dealing with conflict in the workplace is integral to a high-performance. Although very few people go looking for conflict, more often than not, conflict results because of mis-communication between people with regard to their needs, ideas, beliefs, goals, or values. Dealing with conflict involves acquiring skills related to understanding conflict and conflict resolution.

We will be adding a number of articles over the coming months.

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To read further - books on explaining what conflict is about.

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