Managing Conflict Skills

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Managing Conflict - what skills are needed?

The ability to scream and shout do not appear on our list.

Managing Conflict Skills

Dealing with conflict or dealing with difference or dealing with the frustration of not getting all that we want in a situation is a normal part of workplace existence. We can do it well or poorly - it is our choice. But it is an essential managerial skill. We learn to deal with conflict in the same way we learn many things - in informal ways through past experience, family rules, cultural norms. These ways may or may not be appropriate when dealing with or faced with conflict in the workplace.

With an increasing emphasis on effective teamwork in the workplace, and also for effective Project Management, dealing with conflict in a skilled, caring and business-like manner is essential. For management personnel as a whole dealing with conflict efficiently is a time saver and morale booster for all in the workplace environment.

In order to be effective in dealing with situations involving conflict we have to be willing to examine our own attitudes about conflict and question whether we have the flexibility and the skills required to deal with it appropriately. If the answer is no, we should look on it as any managerial skill that must be learned and practised in order to do it effectively. It is not necessarily a natural skill for many of us, but it certainly can be learned.

Skills in dealing with conflict:

Basically the skills needed to deal with conflict can be summed up as:

  • Excellent communication skills
  • The ability to recognise and deal effectively with emotions - both one's own and all the parties to the conflict
Kindler (1988), in his work on managing disagreement constructively, outlines some basic guiding principles to keep in mind:
  • Preserve the dignity and self-respect of all concerned
  • Don't expect to change others' basic behavioural style - only the particular behaviour affecting the conflict
  • Express your independent perspective even if it cannot be satisfied
This attitudinal framework helps to provide the context for a straight forward method in dealing with conflict, as follows:

1) Preparation - consider and write down what you will say. Make an appointment to deal with the conflict.

2) "Send" your message - usually this should be done in person.

3) Be silent. Allow the other party or parties to respond, react or just take in the message.

4) Reflectively listen to the response. Be prepared for the other party to deny, defend themselves or offer rational explanations for behaviours. And be prepared for the fact that you yourself may have incorrect or incomplete information.

5) Recycle the process if necessary.

6) Focus on finding a solution (rather than trying to determine who is to blame).

If you are the mediating party to a conflict you can structure and facilitate the process in a way similar to the above suggested process.

In the article Emotional Intelligence you can read more about why your soft skills are important and how you can become more aware of these skills.

Books on - conflict handling.

Managing Conflict Skills - do you have them?